Stephen Covey died recently. He was a clever bloke. He wrote a really good book called the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. You might have read it. In this book Covey sought to equip people for actually getting the stuff out of life that they want to get out of life. He identified 7 habits that would enable people to do this; 1) be proactive, 2) begin with the end in mind, 3) put first things first, 4) think win-win, 5) seek first to understand and then be understood, 6) synergise, 7) sharpen the saw.
I read this book about 10 years ago and think I have benefitted a lot from it. In this blog I want to focus on 3) - put first things first. I think this is pretty self-explanatory as a habit. It involves working out what is most important and then spending most time on those things rather than on other stuff that crops up. If you find it hard to say ‘no’ to people then you probably don’t know what is most important to you. If you find yourself spending too much time focussing on annoying stuff at work then you probably don’t know what is most important to you. If you don’t feel like your life is amounting to anything then you probably don’t know what is most important to you. You end up feeling pressured and frustrated. And maybe a bit bored. And then you go and bonk your neighbour’s wife. Or something like that.
And the problem we have with this kind of situation is that it often causes us to focus on being too busy or being under too much pressure which makes us feel even more pressured and even more busy and we generally feel that our life is a stress and we are not living well. But I think that focussing on the busyness is thinking about this from the wrong end of the problem. The thing we should do in this kind of situation is ask ourselves ‘what is the most important thing in my life?’. Some other clever bloke (I think it might have been John C Maxwell) has said “the greatest incentive for saying ‘no’ to something is having a bigger “yes” burning inside of you. If we know what is most important to us then we will, usually, be in a far better place to ignore or completely cut out the things that are making us feel pressured.
Do you know what is most important to you? Do you have a ‘yes’ burning inside of you? Do you have something that your heart burns for? If not, you could spend some time working out what that ‘yes’ might be.
Paul’s “yes” was being an apostle to the gentiles. In Philippians he said “I press on to take hold of that for which Christ took hold of me”. Paul focussed on the most important thing. He put that first, forgetting all that is past and considering everything else loss except the pursuit of this call. Jesus himself was the same. He said he had come to earth to seek and save the lost. He said he only did what he saw the Father doing. He didn’t stop to heal every sick person or to chat with every person who approached. He moved on from a village even when it was begging him to stay. He savagely rebuked Peter for trying to prevent him from achieving his call. Jesus knew what was ‘first’ for him. And when he died he said “it is finished”. He lived and died in perfect fulfillment of his call. How cool is that. That is the kind of life I would love all of us men to experience.
So next time you pray, rather than asking God to take away your busyness, why not ask him to tell you what he took hold of you for. Next time you are at church why don’t you go forward for ministry and ask people to pray for you to know your call. Next time you grab a drink with a friend, why not ask them to tell you what they see in you and who they think God is calling you to be.
And then, when you start to get a sense of what is ‘first’ for you - whether that is being a street-sweeper who glorifies God through his cheerfulness and decent work, or a father who helps his kids to love Jesus, or a combination of those things - get ruthless about cutting stuff out that doesn’t actively build into that ‘first’. I’ve never done any ironing. I always figured it was a waste of time. People at work used to comment on my creased shirts but what did I care? I was better rested than them and less stressed and so could respond more sharply in meetings. I always told prospective-employers that I wouldn’t work past 5.30pm. I would get in real early but I would never stay late. I didn’t get a few jobs. I turned a few others down. But I saw my kids every day and got to read the bible and pray with them every single day before bed (I think I’ve probably read the bible with my boys every day of their lives except for about 20 days when I have been staying away for work, and my wife did those days instead). Always since uni I have taken a sabbath day once a week where I won’t do any work at all. Once or twice I have compromised on this and I have hated it. This stance caused some friction with one of my old bosses. Since working at church I’ve missed a few church events that I would have liked to attend. But I’ve tried to be ruthless in these things for the sake of pursuing my “first” thing. I’m not saying these things are what everyone should cut out. Maybe ironing is crucial for you to build into what God has called you to. What is critical is that you know what you are called to and you drop the stuff that doesn’t help you get there. If you do that, then I really believe you will know more peace in your life. You will feel more joy. And you will bring more glory to the One who called you.
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